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Okay, so my husband's awesome. We all know that, right? Let me tell you just how great he is. December 13 is our 5 year wedding anniversary. The first two years that we were married we took a weekend get away on our anniversary...just the two of us...no family, no friends, no cell phones. Well, when our beautiful blessing (JLee ofcourse!!!) came along we decided (well, more like I insisted) that Joshua might be too young for us to leave him. To be honest, I haven't wanted to leave my precious baby for one night, much less an ENTIRE WEEKEND!!! Let me be clear...it's not that I don't love my husband, and it's not that I don't love spending time with him. It's just that I feel like our son needs me. The first year my excuse was breast feeding...I couldn't very well go away when my boobs served JLee's sole nourishment:)! The second year it was Joshua's sickness. He was a sick little boy up until this past July when his tonsils were removed, so I justified us not going any where by saying that Joshua would really need us if he were to get sick. Now Lee has been away from Joshua for up to four days before. I go out of town for weekend trips kind of frequently with my mom, with Lee's mom, with friends of mine...the catch is that Joshua always comes along for the ride. I refuse to go without him!!! Heck, I get upset if I have to work late at private practice and I don't get home in time to see him eat supper, take a bath, irritate his daddy with sleepy stupor behavior, and then go to bed.
Anyway, this year Lee took the initiative and booked a cabin for us at the Shenandoah Crossing resort. It's a really romantic place...carriage rides, jaccuzi hot tub, walking trials, fire place...you totally get the picture, right? Perfect setting for a couple trying to conceive their second child...get my drift??? He planned for us to leave Thursday at lunch and come home late Sunday evening. I was completely excited when he first told me...COMPLETELY, I promise. Just the fact that he took the time to plan the trip and arrange for my parents to keep Joshua...that was enough to make me fall in love all over again! Sounds great, right? Well, just wait, here it comes...here comes the "but"......
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But, then I started to think. Four days and three nights alone with my wonderful husband also means four days and three nights without my precious son. No "morn mommy" before the sun has a chance to rise. No "hold you me, mommy" from that smiling little face. I have to go four days without kissing his forehead, stroking his hair, watching him sleep, and laughing at the moment to moment marvels of my baby boy. I gotta say, I'm probably even going to miss doing the pee-pee dance every time he feeds the potty (yep...we're potty training):). I know Lee and I need this time to be together, particularly when we're trying to have another child, but I don't know how I will do spending that time away from Joshua. What if he needs me? What if he cries for me? What if he doesn't want to leave Nana and Poppy's house to come home when Lee and I get back on Sunday night?
I'm going...I've made my mind up. I'm going to get in that scratched up, dented in, worn out, glad we've got it Barney purple mini-van on Thursday. I'm going to paste a smile on my face, and I am going to enjoy every minute that I have with my wonderful husband. I'm going to go four whole days without a JLee fix. I'm going to do it. I am...as long as my mom makes sure to send lots of picture and video texts, and as long as she always answers my secret phone calls when I have to "go to the bathroom" at the restaurant or in the room. As long as she does that I think I just might be able to resist the overwhelming almost carnal desire to jump into the Barney Mobile, put the pedal to the metal, and get back home just in time to wake my sleeping boy with a tickle and a kiss first thing Friday morning.
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Who knew??? Who knew that motherhood meant loving someone so very very very much? Who knew?
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